Debt-Free Adoptions

The question was asked in the comments by Torie:


"I am wondering if you have advice/information on how to adopt without going into debt?"

That is a great question, Torie, and I'd love to answer it!


Both of our adoptions were/will be debt-free adoptions.  For the sake of privacy and following our state's protocol, I'll not specify in this post, which child goes to which adoption - but one of ours was a private/independent adoption finalized with a lawyer without agency involvement and the other was a foster-adopt situation.

Our independent/private adoption was a word-of-mouth adoption.  We told everyone we could think of across the country that we wanted to adopt -- let's make a long story short and say that 9 months later, we heard about our soon-to-be baby!  Or should I say they heard about us.   In that 9 month wait (which could have been a wait of any amount of time, since we were advertising ourselves and there was no guarantee...) we got our homestudy completed, and that cost under $800, which was due in two payments that we made straight out of savings.  Then we had fingerprinting, background checks, etc... to pay as well.  To save up funds to pay our attorney fees eventually, (we still hadn't heard of our baby, but that all would happen just days later!)  which ended up being under $3,000 - we held a fundraiser garage sale that turned out to be ginormous, with 33 families donating goods to be sold.  We made enough to pay all of our fees - we were incredibly thankful and in awe at how God orchestrated the events in this adoption.

Our foster-adoption was virtually free.  I believe most states are set up this way - - and this was a huge gift as well!  We were not expecting our baby that came through the foster-adoption in the same way we were expecting and preparing our hearts for the private adoption - but this baby came as a surprise baby and completely blew our socks off!  I would love to share more as I'm able about this process...

As you can see, there are ways to adopt without breaking the bank, but I will say this -

I don't believe that a family's sole deciding factor in adoption should be the financial portion.  I know it's easy, especially for men, to be drawn to the least expensive route... but I would urge you to truly search your hearts and most importantly God's heart on the matter.  Where is your future child/children?  Is he/she going to appear in a birthmom's womb here in the U.S.?  Are they waiting in an orphanage across the world?  Is your child in the foster care system right now, longing for a family?  God knows.  Search his heart on the matter.  All God's children need a family, and there are no country borders or race lines drawn in his family.  Our children just happened to be in our state.  My niece was brought home from Korea.  There is no one "right" kind of adoption - one that trumps the rest.  They're all his.  Every one.  As I've seen time and time again within adoption in my own family and the adoptions happening around me, God takes care of the financial portion.  He just does.  When you are joining him in the work that is near and dear to his heart - he provides.

Feel free to ask more questions -  I'll try to answer them - or find someone who can!

Will the real Little Man please stand up?

Yesterday, we turned a corner.  Things have been going great with Little Man up to this point.  He has adjusted so easily and is such a contented little guy.  But I couldn't help but wonder if he was holding back and was still unsure if we were "it". 



Well, I'm so happy that Little Man's "real" personality arrived yesterday!  I thought it had already, and knew he was happy here... but boy was I wrong, the real Little Man has arrived - we're soooo thankful.  Mr. Mellow, Quiet, and Happy has turned into little Mr. Smiley Laughing Chattering Turbo who loves his new family.  YES! 

Praising God for forming this family to His liking today.

Angels in Adoption

Ever since we entered the world of adoption, I'd been hearing about the award given out by the

Congressional Coalition on Adoption Instiute's (CCAI) Angels in Adoption™ program

and I just saw that the time is here that we get the chance to nominate.  The Angels in Adoption are invited to Washington DC this fall to meet their Congressman and attend a gala thrown on their behalf.  Cool!  We'd be so happy to help send some friends who are "angels" in adoption in our eyes. 

You can nominate anybody including, but not limited to:

-juvenile court judges

-nonprofit organizations

-family court judges
-members of the media
-social workers
-business people
-adoption advocates
-former foster youth
-foster or adoptive parents
-adoptees
-advocacy groups
-attorneys

Go here to nominate today, they must be in by July 31st!  I have a few families in mind... so glad to get the chance to do this!

photo credit

Week One with our sweet Little Man

It's been 10 days since we welcomed Little Man into our home and hearts, and this week has flown by in a blur.  A good blur.  A busy blur.  A sweet blur.  A hopeful blur. 

Little Man has been such a cool customer through this big change he's gone through.  For the first two or so days, he really didn't cry.  He got upset when he wasn't wanting the rest of his bottle, or we weren't feeding him fast enough and he was waiting in his high chair... but he didn't really cry.  We sorta thought that was going to be his personality. He'd bonk his head, no crying... etc..   But now, after he's grown comfortable here, we see that while he is a mellow, easy-going guy, he does cry!  And he has this adorable frown/sad face before he starts crying if he's overtired, hungry, or got a bonk.  His sad face really is so cute, and he's easily comforted. 

These couple pictures from the park were on his 3rd day with us.  Gabi was up to her usual sneaky snack stealing from other people's diaper bags, and Little Man fell fast asleep in my arms since we were out during naptime.  He wiggled and squirmed to settle down, but within a minute or two he was down for the count. 

This was his first night with us... it was almost bedtime and we were enjoying the nice evening outside.  Aren't babies in footie jammies the cutest?? 

Also on day 1, Gabi couldn't stop hugging him.  Not a clear photo, but clear enough to see how much she loves her new roomie.  There are times I have to tell her to stop hugging him.  Like today.  She also loves to rub his hair down, since it sticks straight up like little duck feathers.  Gabi really does love him, and she is very gentle with him.  We are having so much fun with him.  

And his giggle is really the cutest baby giggle I've ever heard.  It's so unexpected coming out of his boyish chubby body!   He giggles easily, and has some really ticklish spots.  

And it would do you no service if I were to just gloss all of this over, and pretend that everything is perfect.  It's good, really good.  But I'm human, and I have faults.  One of my major downfalls, is letting my imagination run wild.  And bringing Little Man into our family has brought it's own set of concoctions I've made up in my mind.  I've been having thoughts/fears running through my head in regards to the fact that  we're not the first home he's lived in (duh, he was 9 months when he came)and  that he'll just think we're a short-term hang out and that he'll think he won't have to attach to us.  Ever. ever. 

 I know, completely irrational.  And unfounded.  Attachment disorders generally come from deeper rooted traumatic issues in the child's past.  He has none. 

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

I remind myself (or God does) of this often.  Fear is of our enemy.  God has given us this child, and obviously He sees fit for us to be this baby's family.  So no matter what we're gonna trust Him. 

Back to the story... 

He has made strong attachements before (big plus), and we're confident he can do it again.  Plus, his young age helps a bunch in this area.  I try not to let my mind go there, and I also try not to be hurt that he doesn't want to just lay on my shoulder and cuddle when he wants to play, and instead tries to lean over, practically out of my arms to get back to his toys.  But then I remember that none of our other children wanted to do that at 10 months of age!  They want to get back to playing!  We're taking our time letting him know he can trust us, and we're here for the long haul with him.  We can't thank the family who loved him last enough for the amazing care they took of him and the deep loved they showed him.  This has made all the difference for him I think. 

We have seen positive gains in the attachment area everyday.  The first two days or so, he didn't really follow us around, or crawl up to us if we were sitting on the floor with him.  And now, 10 days later, he reaches for me when someone else is holding him.  (yes!)  Lights up when we enter his room to get him out of bed in the morning.  (yes!)  Crawls up to me and pulls up to a stand on my legs when I'm sitting down playing with him.  (yes!)  Falls asleep in our arms when we're out at naptime.  (yes!)  Crawls after us in the house, and loves to be chased on hands and knees by us or the kids.  (yes!)  Cries a good healthy cry when he's sad, because he knows we'll comfort him and he's loved.  (YES!) 

It's really good to look back and see how far we've all come in just 10 short days.  In no time, it'll be as if he was here all along.  I learned with Gabrielle's coming a year ago, that it takes time.  You love them instantly, and would do anything you need to do to take care of them - but that bond takes time to form.  And it comes with patience and perserverance.  Two things we're more than willing to give to Little Man. 

This Little Man is definitely going to be getting used the all things girl with three older sisters.  He is quite literally surrounded in pink.  :)  We made his side of the room as manly as can be right now, ha ha. 

"Watch closely, Little Man, this is how you play peek-a-boo."

"See?  Isn't this fun?"

going on 6

Had to delete this post, friends... 

I asked about posting about our new little addition and there are things I can't say!  I thought I was being so guarded - it's a learning process... 

 

Gotcha, baby!

Look how big she's grown!

Around this time, last June, we were preparing to bring baby Gabrielle home into our family!  This year has been a whirlwind that happily ended in the finalization of her adoption 2 months ago... 

Next Sunday, June 26th will be Gabi's "Gotcha Day" - the day she came home for good! 

And we're gonna celebrate every year! 

This was our first time meeting Gabrielle and we were smitten.

It would be 10 more days until we saw her again and were able to bring her home!

First day home.  I had to try out the new Moby Wrap right away - the Moby wrap really helped in the process of Gabi bonding quickly to Jeremy and I. We were so thankful it was an easy transition for her.

Happy GOTCHA DAY, Gabi!

We're so glad you're home, beautiful daughter. 

she has her toes

I've always thought Gabi's little toes were the cutest, funniest things! 

Look at how her second toe on both feet are up above the others.  That's just the way they've always been.  They flatten out when she stands... no biggie... but I was so surprised to learn last weekend that Gabi's birthmom has the exact same toes!  Just thought I'd share my fun new factoid that I have to tell Gabi as she grows and is wondering why in the world her toes do that.  Open adoption has it's perks.  :)

Also, I love how she crosses her ankles when she sits too.  She does it everytime she's in her carseat!  She's such a lady. 

It's OFFICIAL!

We are so pleased to announce

the finalized adoption of

Gabrielle Rozelaya-Aniah Bacon

April 14, 2011

HOORAY!

We are shouting from the rooftops, praising God!

Just 10 days before her 1st birthday, so much to celebrate. 

I've bawled my ever-loving eyes out so many times since we got the phone call from our attorney yesterday morning.  I just can't believe it!  Sigh... all the wait, worry, fear, patience, calmness, disappointments.. were all leading up to this.  God has been so faithful to us, orchestrating it all in ways we could never have planned ourselves.  We are truly grateful. 



you're His, little one... His.

Finally, as I sit at my keyboard tonight, I'm feeling as I'd imagined I'd feel all along.  I have proverbially been holding my breath until today.  Until now.  The tears are flowing and I'm astounded that our Father loves us the way He does.  That He loves Gabrielle the way He does.  Our beautiful daughter has been home with us for nine months.  It has been an utterly divine nine months with her.  But two court hearings and no finalization of her adoption have put our faith through the wringer.  We have steadily trusted in His plan for Gabrielle's future and our faith has seen huge mountains moved over and over again.  How could we not trust?

A few weeks after her birth, Gabrielle's birthparents decided that adoption was in her best interest.  They had met us, and decided... even through the pain and uncertainty of it, that we were the best choice for her future.  I'm still in awe that those two brave souls, who will always be precious to us, chose life for her and chose us for her.  And at nine weeks old, we had the sheer pleasure of welcoming her into our fold.  She has been the light and love of our already bustling home the same amount of time she grew and developed in her birthmother's womb.  She has been our daughter.  But on paper she has had another name.  On paper she has had another mother and another father.  No piece of paper or judge's decree could ever change the way our hearts feel... nor does it make her more our daughter.  But oh, the sweetness of it now!  Today marks the end of a long road to finalize Gabrielle's adoption! She has a new name, a new mother and father.  And we humbly get to be her parents.   Adoptions, no matter what kind, are wrought with emotion on all sides.  We're all human and we all pull and struggle against what we want to do and what we know is right.  This adoption has been no stranger to high emotions and humanness.  (mostly from me!) 

June 26, 2010

Getting ready to bring her home for the first time. 

I honestly thought I understood God's love after giving birth to our first four children. 

I thought I understood that He would do anything to be with us, anything to bring us into a relationship with Himself.  But I don't think I truly grasped how far He would go to reach down, zero in, and grab on for dear life, gently propping us up in the place where we belong.  I see that so clearly now. 

He would do anything for us to be His. 

And He did just that.  He gave His Son for us. 

The bunch of messes we are. 

Indescribable.

It was so natural that when our children were born to us, they were ours.  No questions asked.  No one came over to check where our medications were kept, or if we had enough smoke detectors.  No one made sure we were all on the same page before allowing us the chance at getting pregnant.  It just was. 

So many times down this adoption road we've been on, I've wanted to growl to everyone, "Step back, she's mine!"  Don't even think about changing your mind.  You can't have her.  Don't even think about it.  As any mother can attest, a mama's love is fierce. 

And I have a fierce love for this daughter of mine. 

For all of my children. 

And in the middle of it all, I have come to understand God's love. 

His love is fierce. 

For all of His children.

He says, "Step back, everyone! You can't have her, she's MINE." 

I'm His. 

She's His.  Not mine.  

I understand now. 

He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

(Ephesians 1:4-6)

baby buddies

We had the pleasure of babysitting cute one-year old Adia

the other day!  Our girls all LOVE Adia. 

(it's pronounced AY-dee-uh -

incase you were curious how to say her name)

I also love that Gabrielle will grow up with a cousin and for now,

one little buddy that has a similar story. 

That is such a blessing to us, and

will be to these girls

in the years to come. 

Silly, silly!

I can just picture them down the road...

They're just 7 months apart!



It's also a huge blessing to have families surrounding us

that have adopted and people that were adopted

to walk this road with us.  We're so thankful!

more adoption day photos..

Adoption Day photos

Done!  We love you Gabrielle!!!

our awesome attorney

oh, look at this daughter of mine

Althought this picture is not flattering, it shows the real emotions we had after it was over...

and the bit of a letdown the delay was.

The judge greeting the kids and handing out lollipops!

the whole gang!

Also we had some good friends come to join us this special day, thank you!!  That meant so much to us.  

Today

Here I sit at 10:00pm on a day we've been waiting 6 months for.  Gabrielle's adoption day. 

This week has been so mentally exhausting that our whole family including Jeremy and my Mom have been in bed since 9pm.  But me?  I had to unwind my mind and just breathe by myself awake for a bit.

We have so anticipated this day, that I wondered what I'd feel like when it actually came.  Well, I feel spent... and so happy.  So, so happy.  My sweet daughter who has been in my heart for almost 2 years, and in my arms for over 6 months is oh so close to being our daughter forever on paper.  It wasn't completely finalized today like we'd hoped, the judge wanted one more thing to be done that doesn't include us.  So we just have to wait until that happens, then he'll sign off.  That was a letdown for me, I just wanted to be DONE.  So I've had a hard time feeling like we could celebrate.   Things are still as they've always been, she's our sweet, beautiful daughter that we adore.  Nothing any judge could say could change that.  And the adoption is completely done, except for this one formality. 

I'm so happy that we are done with everything we need to do, and will be so thrilled on the day in the very near future when it's finally, totally, nothing else - DONE.  I'll keep you posted, it'll be a couple months though. 

We so appreciate your prayers, things that happened this week were nothing short of a miracle.  It was so obviously God's hand. 

The hearing was so short, it didn't last but 10 minutes.  I expected at least 30 minutes!  Gabi was so adorable, but had only slept 15 minutes all day by the time we arrived, when by that point she would have already slept at least 3 hrs. in naps.  So I was prepared for a tired meltdown, but we gave her a bottle right as we started, and she was happy as a clam smiling at our friends and family behind us.  We weren't allowed to have photos taken during the hearing, but my sis-in law Heather was able to snap a bunch after.  Can't wait to see them!  I was fine all day, didn't feel like I was going to cry or become emotional other than being EXTREMELY happy... but the judge surprised us and our attorney with a flukey thing that he wanted done before he'd sign off.  And that was at the very start, and that was heavy on my heart.  So when our attorney started our questioning, which were super simple questions like, "How long have you lived in this state?" I began to get emotional as he looked me in the eye and said, "Do you feel it is in the best interest of this child to be adopted?"  I wanted to jump up and scream, "YES!"  But instead the tears came, and I almost couldn't speak, but amazingly, I was able to compose myself quickly and move on. 

Adoption is intense.

Intense.

Did I mention it's intense?  This adoption we're dealing with real people who have had real loss.  It's hard and so, so worth it.  Our daughter is worth us doing court hearings for her for the rest of her life.  She just is.  But we're so thankful that was it.  We don't have to do it again! 

Goodnight friends, I'm signing off.  Pictures will be coming soon. 


The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy! 

Psalm 126:3

it's almost here

Our day in court with our sweet Gabrielle is almost here!!

Waiting for her adoption to finalize has been difficult.  Harder than I thought it would be.  We finalize in two and a half weeks ~ HOORAY!  I can't wait for her to be our daughter not just in our hearts but also on paper.  It's an indescribable feeling. 

The road has not been a cake walk, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I've grown in a way I can't explain and have not only that, but a brand new, beautiful daughter to boot. 

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Here we are, six months ago on

Gotcha Day!  She was so bald and tiny.  She's still tiny, but definitely not bald anymore!

Stephanie Fast

At the Christian Alliance for Orphans conference I had the joy to attend last April in Minneapolis, there was a speaker named Stephanie Fast who was adopted from Korea as a young girl... but her story isn't just about her adoption...it is about the events leading up to her adoption.  UNBELIEVABLE.  This woman had been through more terrible events as a little girl than most in a lifetime.  I was moved beyond measure hearing her.  This is her speaking at that very event that Carly and I were in the audience for.  Grab a cup of something... and a Kleenex!  I must note that, embarassingly, right before her session started our group of ladies was standing up front of the auditorium and I was looking for someone to take a group picture of us...  I had no idea who she was... and walked over to her seated in the front row and asked if she would take our group picture!  A little confused, she started to stand and one of her assistants took it for us.  If I had only known I would have asked for her to be in the picture with us!  We had a good laugh about that when she took the stage, and realized she was the speaker! 


Christian Alliance For Orphans Summit 2010 from Kristen Munson on Vimeo.

Depraved Indifference

Quite possibly the best video I've ever seen. Finally, something that explains the way I feel in my heart in a way that I can't explain myself. You won't be sorry you took the time to watch this, it's 8 minutes - but so worth it.  WOW

This idea doesn't just apply to children halfway around the world, it applies to all children even those in our own backyards in state care.

old friends with a new passion

This is Jeromy and Stacy, old friends from our college days.  We saw them the other night for the first time in 12 years!  They now live in a different state, and it was so great to catch up and talk adoption with them. 
I found them on facebook a few months ago, and couldn't believe that they have adopted too!  They have two beautiful girls by birth, and two adorable sons through adoption from their local foster care system that they brought home as babies.  They are a beautiful family, and it was so amazing to reconnect and have lots in common even after all these years!  Check out their blog here.

Thanks for a great visit, Jeromy and Stacy, wish we could do it more often... 

my living dolly

Oh Gabrielle,

you bring us such joy..

we love that you are our little peanut

and that you love us too!

She loves to cuddle and is quite attached to her mama...

we are SOOOO thankful for that.  

She is getting to be such a big girl learning to sit by herself.



We just don't think this girl of ours could be any more beautiful...

she has such a sweet personality and is so peaceful and easy to take care of.  

She'll be 6 months old in a couple weeks... crazy! 

She is gonna be the smallest one year old I think I've ever seen...  She might even tip the scales

at 12 or 13 pounds when we take her in for her well baby check.  We'll see! 

her hospitalization..

When Gabrielle was 5 weeks old, she was hospitalized for 2 weeks with pneumonia. 

She recovered beautifully, and came home to us two weeks after her release from the hospital.  We hadn't even met her at this point, but we had heard about her just prior to this and knew she was hospitalized.  But even then we had no idea she would be our daughter.  These pictures of her earlier days are so wonderful to see.  But isn't it so sad to see a baby hooked up to all those tubes? 

 This hospitalization was the catalyst toward us being considered as her adoptive family, so though it's sad she was so sick, we are so thankful for God's hand in her life and for him allowing certain things to happen that would lead her to us and fulfull His plan for her life. 

 

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,

to those who are the called according to His purpose. 

Romans 8:28

our newborn girl

We received a precious gift today.

We had yet to see pictures of Gabrielle when she was born, and I have been yearning to see some since she came home to us.  Well, today we got our chance!  The top picture is my favorite, because her little face just hasn't changed...  it's a strange thing to not be there for the birth of your child, but it's also strange to me to not see any pictures of the beautiful event.  Sometimes with adoption, it just isn't possible to get photos like these, and we are truly thankful for them.  I know there will be many more to come, but we are so happy to receive these pictures.  They are a treasure to us, and I know they will be to Gabi too. 

The little rainbow hearts onesie she is wearing is something I have for her that came with all of her clothes that were passed on to us, but I didn't know it was her first outfit!  I loved it before, now I love it even more.