Hi friends,
Blogging has been hard as of late, because I've been easing off my computer usage and trying to be much more intentional with my time.
I took a 6 day break from facebook last week, and it was good and sad for me to realize just how much I clicked onto facebook in the past out of boredom. I also realized in those 6 days that I didn't miss it a bit. While it's fun to look at what friends are up to and pictures of how their kids are growing, I just know I need to focus on my growing brood right here under this roof.
We had a rough couple days this week. Actually, I had a couple rough days this week. It was related to homeschooling... I was going through some frustrations with my older kiddos. They weren't doing anything out of the ordinary, or anything blatantly wrong. It has just been a growing feeling that their hearts just aren't in it, they're just going through the motions because their parents say so. I want so badly for them to love our time together, and not rush off to something they'd rather be doing. So, I had just had it up to my eyebrows one morning this week. And I said some things I shouldn't have said to my wide-eyed youngsters while we were attempting to have our Bible and prayer time. Nice, I know. The baby was being good, but noisy with her toys. And there kept being interuptions, and I was frustrated that they weren't even listening to what I was saying. Then I got the feeling like I was wasting my time and my breath - and that is a feeling that has come all too often lately, and I despised it.
So I lost it, slammed the book (The Bible!) shut, and told them I hated homeschooling. Yep, I said that. Aren't I a gem? Well, I'm real, you can't fault me for that. :)
I wanted to retract it the moment it came out of my mouth, but I couldn't. After that, I just stared into deep space for a few minutes with tears welling up in my eyes, and my kids repeating, "We're so sorry, Mom..."
Shortly after, I explained to them that I shouldn't have said that, asked for their forgiveness, and told them that I absolutely didn't hate homeschooling. And that I loved being home with them and that this is what God wants from our family. It was a hard two days as we hashed out some new expectations... and talked about completing our work during school and my teaching as unto the Lord. Not because we have to, but because we love God and we want to do our best work for him.
Jeremy was really helpful at helping me look at everything from a new angle, and he helped me form a game plan for the next morning that would continue in our days together.
We're moving forward, thankful that each day is new and fresh with no mistakes in it. And it's a new day to glorify God with our every move... and that's what we're striving to do.
If you have experience with this, please share... we're always looking for ways to spruce up an fine tune school time.
5 comments:
Amanda, losing your temper was actually an excellent teaching moment. It showed your children that you are human, and that you do get frustrated, just like they do from time to time. It also demonstrated how to humbly ask forgiveness--and they will emulate you in that.
When I first began homeschool, it was set up like a traditional school. Everything was scheduled. But that sort of system didn't fit with every kid, or my personality. While the kids do have required subjects, I'm flexible as to what they accomplish on any given day. Since we work all year round, I find that even if they take a certain subject more slowly, they are still ahead of their peers. I have one kid who gets distracted by his own thoughts--and some days he is simply unable to focus. So, I'll offer an alternative and then come back to the other thing later, or even the next day. I'm not worried about what will happen when he goes to college and has to adhere to a rigid schedule because I did this with my eldest 2, and now they are self motivated learners, which means, when they want to learn something, they do. Katie didnt learn to read until she was 6, and i felt I'd failed her. But now she reads constantly, tested at a level as high as her older brother, and is studying Veterinary Medical Terminology at age 11. I don't force these things on her--she wants to read & learn--and she's motivated. It is a complex business, and certainly in homeschooling, one size does not fit all.
I guess the point is, relax. Your kids are getting a first class education, even on the days you feel no one is learning. Instilling a love of learning is the best benefit of the homeschooling environment.
Oh Amanda, I love you dear friend! You have such a wonderful heart for God and your family! Your honesty is so refreshing, humbling and encouraging.
And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Galatians 6:9
Keep up your good work!! :^)
Sis....I had this day too this week. At least you were trying to do bible! I lost it with Keaton.I was going over feb and our calendar and talking about projects and such...Keaton mouthed something about...do we havvvvvve to do all this stuff..as he spinner around in his chair curled up in a ball like it was a torture chamber. I blew it. "Keaton. I am exhausted by your attitude. Mommy is trying to do her best and make school fun and exciting and you do not care. We have 3 hours of school. Would you rather go to school and do 6 hours?????" yep, lame mom me pulled the public school card. We apologized, he found his motivation after we talked about how he needs a right heart for the lord and when he honors him only, he honors my efforts.....blah. We pressed through it and had a fun week of reading tons and tone of books instead of doing seat work! Whew. I love you and your desire to train the kiddos in teachable moments!
been there, done that. Homeschooling is tough work. Hope you have a relaxing weekend.
Dear friend! Hugs to you! You are NOT alone. I've been there...and definitely more than once. We'll have to talk soon! You're doing a great job with your wonderful children.
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