it really is a gift

Generally, waiting for something to happen is hard!!  Waiting for a baby to be born when you're due or past due is hard.  Waiting to find out test results when you're having health issues is hard.  Waiting to see if you got into the school you were hoping to is... you guessed it - hard!  Waiting can be difficult no matter how big or small the thing you're waiting for may seem.  Adoption is full of waiting!  And waiting, just so you know, is not my forte.  And I'm sure it isn't yours either.  When my sister and friends have adopted, it was really easy for me to look in from the outside and think, "Why are they antsy to speed up the process?  Their child will come when God's timing reveals them!"  Well, now I know how hard waiting in adoption truly is!!!  I could think of a whole list of reasons why one might say that I shouldn't have a hard time waiting....

1. I already have 4 kids, it's not like I don't have enough to do.
2. We've only been actively looking to adopt for 7 months.
3. We don't even have all of our finances to pay for it when it happens.
4. We should be trusting God with this process and not grow impatient!

Thinking of all of these reasons myself, helps me put things into perspective.  I really, truly know that once we are matched with a birthmom things could get crazy, scary, confusing, hairy, expensive, exhilirating, and thrilling!  And I know that time is a gift... we can't take back this time we have.  So I've purposed in my heart to take full advantage. 

I'm starting a journal for our child, that tells about this process.  How we hoped, dreamed, and prayed for them.  I'll write about our positive dealings with their birthmom and the feelings we're experiencing.  The funny things their siblings say about them while we wait, and how others helped bring them home. 

I'll also use this time to plan fundraisers to pay for all of this.  In May (date TBA) we are holding a fundraiser garage sale at a GREAT location here in town... (detailed info will be emailed later!)  We're hoping to make a BIG deal out of this and gather support from our community!  We're accepting donations of things to sell  large and small now if you have anything you'd like to donate to the cause...

And most of all, we're praying.  We'd been doing this from the start.  We're praying for our birthmom and child right now.  That she'll be drawn to us somehow.  That she'll be okay that we have 4 kids already and that she'll want her baby in a large family.  We're praying for smooth interactions with her.  And that all involved will see the hand of God. 

Those are my thoughts lately.  It's been hard this week.  I've had this feeling that it will NEVER happen.  No one will choose us.  I know right where those thoughts are coming from, and they've been not so politely kicked back down where they came from.  And just when I was at my lowest...

we got mail...

a cute little yellow envelope from a friend that I've known for years, but still don't know well enough.  She wrote a sweet note, and enclosed a check that FLOORED our whole family.  They wanted to help with our adoption fund.  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY  Is all I could say, along with NO WAY!!  as tears streamed down my face.  Thank you, A for blessing us in this way...  and for following God's lead to do so.  You have touched us immeasurably!  God knows our needs and he is faithful to show us how he provides. 

Then last night, God showed me that there may be other avenues to our child.  Two friends emailed at the same time about opportunities in their area, and are spreading the word.  Wow. 

That's all for today...  I'm going to embrace this gift of time to love on my kids and start that journal.