how we roll - part 1: caring for babies

I've always enjoyed blog posts I've read that line out just how families do things.  Particularly large families.  I like reading their methods for organizing their home, how they care for babies, how they deal with picky eaters, and how they just plain ol' stay sane.  So here goes my version of this... I don't have it planned out at all.  And I'm sure this post will come in parts.  But all week, things keep popping into my head that I want to share.  So here goes, this is how we roll:

(Also, if you have a question, or are curious about something, please ask!  I'm not sure how many of you will actually be reading this, but who knows, one of you might be dying of curiousity.)

Let's start with Caring for Babies

This topic is at the forefront of my mind because I've done it 5 times, and because I have an adorable 6 month old to care for right now.  I've constantly got babies on the brain.  No matter how your babies come to you, they've got to be cared for.  We don't do this perfectly, but we've found what works with our family, and what both Jeremy and I are comfortable with.  Being on the same page is key.  Your family may be completely different, but it works for you.  Yay for you!  It's great to come to that place.

When I was pregnant over 10 years ago with Drew, I was absolutely clueless about how to take care of a newborn.  I grew up babysitting and LOVED it.  I love kids.  I love making little friends and making them laugh.  But, I had never been solely responsible with Jeremy to keep one alive and thriving...  and asleep!

A wise friend suggested a book to me that I read about a month before our firstborn was due to be born.  And boy did it help line things out for me.  (The book was On Becoming Babywise.)  We didn't follow it to a "T", because you need to flex and bend with life, but the principles of the baby feeding right after waking, staying awake, and then laying down awake but sleepy when naptime or bedtime comes have saved us YEARS of sleepless nights.  The thing we've learned is that if you nurse/bottle feed/rock a baby to sleep and never let them learn the habit of falling asleep without aid, they will always wake up and wonder where that nice, warm person went.  And they think they need them to help them sod back off.  But laying a baby down awake from the time they're itty bitty teaches them that they can indeed relax and drift off without help.  Then if they stir in the night for some reason, they can easily fall right back to sleep without really waking. 

The only time we ever had to deal with a baby crying themselves to sleep was with Drew.  (Those poor firstborns are usually the guinea pigs.)  He loved his pacifier as a newborn, and fell asleep without a hitch.  But around 4 months of age, that pacifier would fall out during his nap... make a sound as it hit his crib mattress and it'd be all over.  Naptime that is.  Well, this mama and papa became very frustrated at that pacifier and took it away cold turkey.  Nothing was going to stand in the way of his and our sleep!  So the paci had to go.  He cried to fall asleep for his naps for one whole day, then to go to bed at night.  (We would go in and assure him he was okay...) Then for a nap or two the next day.  And then BAM - he didn't miss it at all.  But truth be told, even that day and a half was tough on this new mommy.  I cried.  I was weak.  But I was also determined.  And it paid off.  For all of us. 

Ahhh... sleep!  All the other kids slept like champs on this method.  I think 4 months was the latest it took any of our kids to sleep all the way through the night.  We don't attribute it to anything except God's grace and using this eat/awake/sleep method with our babies.  Babies are just a way of life for us right now, so there's no messing around with the care and training of them for us.  We love, cuddle, and cherish our time with them when they're awake, and boy do we cherish the sleep too. 

A book I would really recommend, that was suggested to me when I was pregnant with our 4th baby, Annika is Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, by Tracy Hogg.  The author is british, no-nonsense, and funny too.  She reminds me of Super Nanny for babies.  Her method is the same one we were already using, but it was a fun way to brush up on doing the newborn thing since it had been 3.5 years since Morgan was born.

What in the world do our babies do when they're awake?  Well, they get lots of attention, that's for sure.  With the arrival of each new little one, there is one more face to adore them.  Right now, Gabrielle takes 3 naps most days.  When she wakes up, she eats of course, then either sits with one of us, or plays on the floor with toys, or sits in her Jumperoo or Exersaucer.  At this point though, she doesn't last very long in either.  Rolling around on the floor with her toys is still her favorite pastime. 

We begin to introduce solid food around 4-5 months, but usually they aren't good at it or interested in it until 6 months we've found.  Gabi is so good at it now.  :)  It wasn't until Annika came along in '08 that I tried my hand at making her baby food.  I really enjoyed it, and plan on doing the same with Gabi.  I steamed, mashed, and froze in cubes lots of different veggies.  Butternut squash and yams were Annie's favorites.  That saved a bunch of money for very little time put into it. 

We're all about saving money around here, so with Gabi, we dived right into cloth diapers and haven't looked back!  They're so stinkin' cute on, and truthfully for us?  It's all about the money for us.  We'd love to say that we're so green and all.  But we're not.  I love that it helps the environment, that's great.  But it's not our main motivating factor.  Two kids in disposable diapers, was a real bummer on the budget. 

What else?  Oh, and I have a fear of finding my babies with blankets wrapped around their faces while they're sleeping.  I've found a couple of them this way, and it terrifies me.  So for our last two babies, we've used velcro swaddle blankets from newborn size until they refuse to sleep in them anymore.  Gabi still loves hers, so we bought the next size up to give her legs more room.  I never have to worry about her getting caught under covers or getting cold at night.  Her room is the coldest in the house, and I like to know she's always covered.  Later, we'll switch to a sleep sack that zips up the front and has her arms free. 

Also, we're not an everyday bath family for the kids.  It's every couple days and that includes Miss Gabrielle.  And usually, they all get one in the same morning/evening.  Girls upstairs, boys downstairs. We don't have a set schedule, even though I tried to implement one... it's just whenever the girls hair gets ratty and the boys get stinky.. it's time.  :)  We're a modest family and don't do boy/girl baths unless they're wearing their swimsuits. 

Wow, this is turning into a bunch of information that was not solicited.  But I guess it's my blog and I can post what I'd like.  Feel free to stop reading if you're boring yourself to tears.  But somebody might actually be interested, so I'll keep trucking along. 

One thing that Jeremy and I have always wanted for our family is that a baby (or any child of any age) will never rule the roost.  I've always known I didn't want that for my family.  I've seen examples of it that were painful to watch.  All of our kids have boundaries laid out before them, that have taken years for some to fully grasp and follow.  Babies are a joy to us, an absolute joy.  They always know they are loved and cherished members of our family.  But even they need a foundation of boundaries.  Like a bedtime when a parent decides.  Like the amount of food a parent feels is healthy for them.  Or a type of food a parent feels is healthy for them.  And like time on the floor playing with toys even though they demand to be held. 

Sometimes I think that the people that say to me, "I don't know how you do it!" are just making parenting too hard on themselves.  Among the joys, it is grueling, heartbreaking, and exhausting to be a parent but there are things you can do to ease the load for yourselves.  Be proactive.  Set expectations, and stick to them.  Parenting isn't for weenies... Be the parent.  I find myself thinking that at times.  And I find myself reminding my kids that at times.  I'm the parent.  You are the child.  God made parents older than kids for a reason. 
Kids don't always (rarely) know what's good for them.  Some things just aren't for them to decide. 

Okay, I've gone down a bunny trail... and I'm gonna wrap this one up.  BABIES.  Love them. 

Stay tuned for another topic soon... how about Picky Eaters?